The old womans complaint or the Greek alphabet

Woodward, G. M. (George Moutard), approximately 1760-1809 · January 15, 1809

An old country dame has called upon a pedagogue, with a fanciful grievance, to make respectful complaints against the dominie's scholars, who, cap in hand, and satchel on back, are making their entrance into the learned presence, behind their accuser. The schoolmaster, who wears a red night-cap, and slippers, is made to say : 'Good woman, you are always making complaints against my scholars ; what have they done to offend you now?' 'Please your honour's worship, they followed me up and down, and said one to another, at her, beat her, damn her, pelt, her! and a great deal more that I do not recollect.' The young pupils are explaining the old lady's misconception : 'Indeed, sir, we were only repeating our Greek alphabet, in order to get it quite perfect ; what the old woman heard was only Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, and so on to the conclusion!