The learned Scotchman or magistrates mistake

Woodward, G. M. (George Moutard), approximately 1760-1809 · 1812

A Scotchman is led before a country justice, charged with drunkenness ; the magistrate's wife is seated by the side of her lord, and is much shocked at the learned Caledonian's defence ; bowing low, bonnet in hand, the Scot is throwing himself on the clemency of the court : 'I own, your honour, I was a little inebriated, but your worship knows Nemo mortalium omnibus liooris saupit.' 'What's that you say, fellow,' retorts the magistrate, 'about a sawpit ? a very improper place to go with such company. I wonder you are not ashamed to mention such a thing, and before my wife too. But, however, as it is your first offence, I will discharge you this time ; but never come here with such a story again!'