My European Engagement

Unknown artist

I always say I'm from a country that no longer exists: I am from the former Yugoslavia. I was born in Belgrade, now in Serbia. In 1991, I moved here to the Hague. I came for love, to marry my husband. We had met in 1985 in Nancy, France, while studying at the European University Centre. We were studying a postgraduate course on European law and culture. My husband comes from Heerlen, in Limburg and he had moved to The Hague for work. We had been dating for 5 years, commuting and traveling to see each other. In those days, there were no low cost airlines, no internet, no Whatsapp or SMS. We had a large pile of letter that we sent each other. We phoned now and then, but it was very expensive. We decided to marry, and I moved here in April 1991. During those five years, I had completed an internship in Brussels, and worked in Belgrade in the European Union embassy. During the 'good times', we thought that Yugoslavia would be the first Eastern European country to join. Things went very differently in my country. In this time, though, I had fallen in love with European ideals and ideas. The last thing I did before leaving Yugoslavia was to be the founder of the European movement there. We didn't know at that time that nationalists were preparing for war. People said to me, I think there will be war in your country. I thought this would never happen, I knew my country. However, I was mainly meeting young people like me, none of us thought it would go in the direction it did. So there I was in the Hague, where I came to marry, within a few months, watching the war starting in my country on CNN and the BBC. It was a very surreal time - both a happy moment in my live, getting married, starting a family but also suddenly seeing my world and where I came from disintegrate. I was always a Yugoslav patriot and very proud of the multicultural diversity that Yugoslavia had. I was fond it, proud and found it enriching. Seeing its violent disintegration was a very traumatic experience. This in a way explains my European engagement. I see it as an antidote to nationalism. If we all get more engaged in European movements, we will somehow be able to resist these other directions. Our wedding was in November of 1991. I would describe it as a Dutch / European wedding. We had my husband's Dutch family who performed sketches, we had friends from various countries from our time studying in Nancy. Our witnesses were Serbian and French. Friends from a student choir sang Ode to Joy, the European anthem. My name Sneška means snow white, so some friends dressed as dwarfs. Sinterklaas was there too. I think my father sang Serbian songs; some friends were singing French songs. It was a lovely mixture of all the various elements. During that first period living here, life was difficult. My parents could not get a visa - they often had hours of waiting, feeling humiliated. My brother also lives in Leidschendam, so when they did manage to visit, they would stay for as long as they could. Thanks to my parents my children both speak good Serbian. The object I brought is related to a Serbian tradition. In some countries, people's name days are celebrated but in Serbia, we celebrate a family day. Every family has a saint who is the protector of that family. They display icons of this saint in their homes - this is a copy of a 14th century icon of Saint Stefan. Saint Stefan was the protector for my mother's family, so I have kept this tradition. In Serbia, we celebrate Saint Stefan Slava by having a family feast. In the past, that was the time your house was open and you invite people to your home to celebrate. Everybody would be welcome. Now it's more by invitation. Saint Stefan's Slava is on 9 January, two days after Serbian Christmas on 7 January. For several years, we organised St Stefan's Slava ceremonies. We would have cakes and Serbian food, a big feast for us and our Dutch friends I've lived here ever since 1991. My husband has worked here, and so have I. One week after our wedding, I joined Europa Nostra where I've always worked . I say that I married my husband and married Europa Nostra. Initially I started in a temporary job, covering someone's maternity leave, but I remained ever since. My first and last sollicitatiebrief in the Netherlands was for Europa Nostra! I think it was destiny somehow: I always loved Europe, and was interested in culture, heritage and history. When I arrived here first, I would meet my husband at the Cafe Posthoorn on Lange Voorhout. I loved this cafe, its soul and history. I said to him that I loved this street and wanted to work there. When I saw the advert for Europa Nostra and noticed their office address was on Lange Voorhout, I thought this is destiny. Working with Europa Nostra was a chance for me to continue my European engagement in The Hague. I believe that cultural heritage unites us, not separates us. This is a mission and passion for me.